Featured image of post Grublins

Grublins

Developmental stages of children/ goblins

Children are kinda messy, a bit grimey, and a little mischevious… like goblins. As our kids grew we had nick-names for them and some of these evolved into a developmental progression of goblin-ness.

Here are the phases I have mapped so far :

1. 🥔 Potato

When humans are born… they’re kinda par-baked compared to other animals, as in they’re not ambulatory, and only just aware of their environment. Some people talk about this as the “fourth trimester”. Somewhat uncharitably I call this phase the Potato.

2. 👶 Chublin

Your goblin is somewhat active and has started looking a little rolley. They’ve got creases part way down their limbs, big cheeks, and very little neck to speak of.

Chubby goblin → Chublin.

3. 💩 Grublin

Your goblin has moved on to solids. They make a significantly larger mess consuming food, and their output is a new level of nasty.

Grubby goblin → Grublin

4. 👹 Grumplin

Your grublin is growing a lot (which hurts) and they’ve also developed enough theory of mind to realise they can say “No!”, and just straight up defy your requests.

Grumpy goblin → Grumplin

5. 👺 Squablin

Higher cognitive functions are online, your goblin can now make reasoned attacks on your authority.

Squabling goblin → Squablin

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Last updated on Apr 07, 2025 00:00 UTC